Here he is! Moses, the Bonsai Tree. I’m giving him a name until we get a real pet. Because we will get a real pet. Right, Andy? He came from Katsura in Japan Town for the price of $28. My dad’s sending me a bonsai tree book.

I thought this article was kind of funny. That’s what you get for buying a toy breed of dog. Also, I am not sure why the family thought throwing plastic chairs at the snake was a good way to make it spit the dog out. Or why cnn included that superflous detail.

We are having a Comin’ To America party this Saturday. And it is “Comin’ ” with an apostrophe too because we’re in America and now don’t have to pronounce everything in its entirety I don’t reckon. Bardhi got his visa and I got my green card, so we can stay and work in America. I have much to learn for the citizenship exam, but here are a 10 things I have to learn about as a civilian:

1. I do not have to end a phone conversation with “Bye Bye”, “Goodbye” or “See you later”. I can end it with “Thanks”, “Ok” or any other exclamation I fancy. The other person will get the message and hang up when I do.
2. Not to say junk like “You Alright?” when I mean “How’s it going?” because people get confused and think that I think theres something wrong. I suppose in asking “Are you alright?”, I infer that I do not think they are alright.
3. I have to learn about people like Helen Keller, Bobby Fischer and Mr. Rogers.
4. The theme song to Full House. Seems like everyone near my age grew up watching that ’show’.
5. To call television programs ’shows’ and care about the Olsen Twins.
6. The National Anthem. Everyone else seems to know it.
7. All the lyrics to “Take Me Out To the Ball Park” and how to eat a hot dog and/or spit sunflower seeds while doing so.
8. Figure our how the electoral college actually works.
9. Stop putting U’s in word like BEHAVIOUR on resumes and applications because people just think I’m stupid rather then English. Which makes me think that they are stupid.
10. Actually take my ID places because people care about that here.

That is all for now.

We got paid $100 to sit on a couch and do what we were told.
It was for Rubberball productions, so it was stock photography.

So essentially, we could be the new faces of MSN advertisements for relationship problem solutions.
Or Viagra campaigns.

I love the Velvet Underground. We bought the most amazing additions for our record collection from Amoeba including Anthony & the Johnsons, a Paul Simon classic, another Dylan and Beatles for our expanding collection and last but not least, a couple new Velvet Undergrounds. I couldnt help it, we found Unripened, the un-Andy Warhollified version of Peel Slowly. Peel Slowly is a great album, so I was excited to get the originals/demos on vinyl. Andy and I have been playing Jesus on the piano/guitar lately. Im excited to play Stephanie Says, Candy Says, Pale Blue Eyes and Sunday Morning. I also really want The Grey Album and Ratatat Mix-Tape.

We went to San Francisco over Presidents day. I only got three photos. The above (a picture of a BART ticket) and the following beauties:

Here is a man in the airport wearing creepy jeans, and a girl in SF wearing Victoria’s Secret leggings and no additional dress/skirt/long shirt or underwear by the looks of things. The first pictures effect kinda gets lost in the blurry, laugh-warped photography of my busted camera – he really did look nuts (plus, after taking it, i realized I knew the kid in the red cap behind him). The second picture raises several questions. 1) Why does Victoria’s Secret make leggings that gross with stuff on the behind. The butt-logo suggests the leggings should be worn solo, but everyone knows that only 0.2% of the worlds population could possibly look ok advertising Pink on a butt-billboard. 2) Did this girl not realize her jiggly posterior was on show for the entire nation? She reminded me of a girl in college. She was a first year so she was sixteen, and was wearing a pair of Juicy Couture velour sweatpants. They had JUICY over the behind, but the I was stuck up her butt. It prompts involuntary laughter at every remembrance.
I got more SF pictures, but they’re on another SD card somewhere. We took a hike 3 miles downhill to a beach, bought *Moses and ate at the cheesecake factory. Seriously, we didn’t want to return to Provo. I always feel that way when I’m in SF, then I realize that the city is a infestation of degenerate moral diseases and wonder why it feels so great. ha.

*Moses is our Bonsai tree. The fact we named him is a testament to our need for a loving pet. I will photograph him soon and dedicate an entire post to him.

Andy received a legit, free, unrequested NRA card in the mail today. Sure, it has limited user power, but for the moment, Andy is invincible.

Get Creepy

We bought these fantastic balsa wood bi-planes at the model store. And they really are FANTASTIC. We’ve been zooming them around our living room/kitchen/bedroom a lot but they need more space (mine met it’s demise this way).

So we Deer Creeked it up on the 2ft deep ice along side ice drill fishery people and this cute asian dad-son combo who reported a lack of trout.